It's about respect.

[rogueslayer452]

It's so interesting to me seeing people who don't understand the concept of nonbinary deciding that just because they don't get it, it means that they can be not only completely rude but also discredit and invalidate anyone who identifies as such, along with other dismissive and ignorant attitudes all because it challenges their limited worldview that they don't want to change.

In elementary school, when we were learning about pronouns during English lessons (in the context of writing and language), it was taught that you used they/them when you either don't know a person's gender or are trying to not reveal someone's gender. This was something that I learned and used quite often ever since, both in writing and when speaking. So when learning more about gender identity, it makes perfect sense to me that someone who doesn't want to identity as of either gender binaries would prefer to use they/them, since I had a pretty good understanding of how it was used in language and, even though that wasn't what we were learning it for, it was just a natural progression of me understanding it being used for gender identity. If you can use they/them in context of not knowing someone's identity or wanting to keep someone anonymous, it shouldn't be hard to continue using those pronouns once you learn that that's how they want to be addressed as.

So please, be respectful of people's gender identities, or any other personal identity they may have.

Comments

[elizalavelle.livejournal.com]

I would also imagine the amount of attention seekers is low. I've known a few who just jump on whatever bandwagon there is to try to get followers online. But I also don't know their truth so maybe when they say they're non binary they mean it as opposed to the last thing they said, or maybe they don't. Either way it hurts me zero to change to they/them pronouns and if they want to change back in a while that's okay too.

Oh yes best not to assume someone is out or insist on pronouns that you think fit them before they're ready. I just figure it's all comfort level. If I can do something that makes someone else more comfortable that's a good thing to do.

Agreed about the way we view gender being problematic. The fact we've gendered toys and jobs etc. as a society is an issue. GI Joes are definitely dolls. I liked making up stories with dolls etc. when I was little but I remember I got Polly Pockets and my brother got Mad Max. Mad Max lived in spooky castles with monsters etc. and I just took his set and combined them both so my little dolls could have better stories. Sometimes Frankenstein was brought to a nice house to learn what a real bed felt like and to be pampered, sometimes Polly went on a proper adventure.

I think society at large is getting a better idea that gender is not so black and white as we thought it was and also that it really doesn't matter. I'm hopeful for future generations getting to let go of the "rules" a bit more.