It's about respect.

[rogueslayer452]

It's so interesting to me seeing people who don't understand the concept of nonbinary deciding that just because they don't get it, it means that they can be not only completely rude but also discredit and invalidate anyone who identifies as such, along with other dismissive and ignorant attitudes all because it challenges their limited worldview that they don't want to change.

In elementary school, when we were learning about pronouns during English lessons (in the context of writing and language), it was taught that you used they/them when you either don't know a person's gender or are trying to not reveal someone's gender. This was something that I learned and used quite often ever since, both in writing and when speaking. So when learning more about gender identity, it makes perfect sense to me that someone who doesn't want to identity as of either gender binaries would prefer to use they/them, since I had a pretty good understanding of how it was used in language and, even though that wasn't what we were learning it for, it was just a natural progression of me understanding it being used for gender identity. If you can use they/them in context of not knowing someone's identity or wanting to keep someone anonymous, it shouldn't be hard to continue using those pronouns once you learn that that's how they want to be addressed as.

So please, be respectful of people's gender identities, or any other personal identity they may have.

Comments

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

They are who they are and it's just common sense to respect that, regardless. Why is it any of my business, how does it hurt me if I was mistaken, regardless of the reasons? No one has the right to dictate how someone else should be addressed.

Yes, precisely. And if you're going out of your way to purposefully misgender or deadname someone, that's not only disrespectful and potentially dangerous to the individual in question but it also reflects poorly of your character, that you would rather be disrespectful and rude to someone who didn't ask for much other than to respect who they are. How is referring someone to their preferred pronouns a slight against you? How is it harming you?

(Also, while I expect intolerance from the alt-right side with these things, it is very disheartening and disappointing when I see even self-proclaimed progressive types doing this very thing, viewing it as "made up" and making fun of people who use neo-identities. Again, what does it matter? Who is it hurting? Who are you to judge how people want to identify? They're are trying to figure themselves out. Nobody fits perfectly into a box and sometimes that box needs expanding, bending, and revising, and there is nothing wrong with people experimenting and finding out where they belong and to feel free and be themselves.)

I know that this conversation is still slightly new when it comes to it getting more public attention, so people unfamiliar with it are going to be confused and that's okay, but human decency should always come first, whether you understand it or not.