rogueslayer452 | Is it a good brain day or a bad brain day?

Taken from

thefridayfive:

What's taking up space in your head this week?
The usual fandom stuff, I've been slowly mainlining through Guardian at the moment while also still being deep in the other dramas I've watched and got attached to previously. Just mainly all of that, my headspace is just all the blorbos from my shows, essentially.

What mental health topics do we need to be more aware of?
Oh, I'd say quite a bit. I've talked about this before, but essentially I think there needs to be more awareness of the other kinds of mental illnesses that exist that aren't just anxiety and depression, more discussions about the availability of treatments particularly for those who are financially unable to do so and how we can solve it, and how while we've come a long way with recognizing mental health concerns over the last decade or so we still have a long way to go to de-stigmatize it, not just here (in the U.S.) but everywhere else in the world.

Furthermore, I'm also of the mind that therapy is good and beneficial for everyone, regardless.

What does "mentally healthy" look like?
Not having intrusive thoughts and my brain chemistry functionally normally, or, alternatively, being able to recognize when I'm having a bad brain day and managing it without having any kind of breakdown beforehand.

When do you know you need to focus on yourself?
Now that's a question, isn't it. For the most part, whenever I get too overwhelmed or emotionally distressed from something that's when I know that I need to take a break/breather.

What's something that's helped your mental health?
Honestly? Fandom, or rather being fannish about something in some capacity. It's a good distraction, and has helped keep those intrusive thoughts at bay. Yes, there are some obvious downsides like fandom drama that can be impossible to avoid, but for the most part I tend to ignore it the best I can, even if the urge to doomscroll out of mild morbid curiosity gets the better of me sometimes. Otherwise yeah, it's just distracting myself with whatever I'm currently fixating on.

(Also, I would say that my dog was the best thing for my mental health, but she has been gone for some years now and that definitely took a hit on my mental and emotional health, for sure. So getting fixated on fictional worlds has become the next biggest distraction for me in helping me cope.)

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but essentially I think there needs to be more awareness of the other kinds of mental illnesses that exist that aren't just anxiety and depression,

I completely agree. ALL mental health is important, and we need to stop stigmatizing them.

I also think there needs to be more conversation about empathy versus setting boundaries when it comes to mental illness, because that is a trickier subject. I think we're inclined to look at it in the black and white - either "oh no, they're toxic/potentially dangerous, stay away." Or "aww, they can't help it." It's usually not that simple.

I personally think we need to acknowledge that you can't "fix" someone, so if that's what you're trying to do, stop. That being said, you absolutely can have the wherewithall to say "I cannot fix this person" AND also acknowledge they need help, rather than go "and this is why everyone with Disorder X is toxic and evil."

Though we also need to stop assuming that's the only reason someone is who they are. I had a shitty friend who blamed her depression for how she behaved. To be honest, looking back I just don't think she was a good person. I'm sorry she had depression, and maybe she had other MH issues that would better explain her behavior, but I think a lot of it was just... who she was. She was mean. Depression does not make you mean.

And actually... I have anxiety. (And honestly, probably mild depression. I don't think you can have anxiety and not have mild depression, because a voice in your head telling you the whole world is going to end because you did something wrong at work kinda gets to you. *Gallows humor*) Sometimes this means I respond in ways that are inappropriate to the situation. But I always own it and apologize. And that's the difference.

Edited 2022-05-07 11:24 (UTC)

Though we also need to stop assuming that's the only reason someone is who they are.

Ugh, seriously, whenever someone weaponizes their mental illness in such a way it frustrates me to no end because they're only doing so hoping that it excuses them from their actions. Having any kind of disorder can be an explanation for some things, but it's not a get out of jail free card. It doesn't absolve one of their actions and behaviors.

But I always own it and apologize. And that's the difference.

Exactly. Owning up and taking responsibility for your own actions is definitely the key difference. And that's just a general rule as a whole.

I'm so sorry about your dog <3 Yeah my last cat just... I loved him, but I think his loss has sworn me off of getting pets (we lost two very close to each other, not for related reasons, but just bad luck in terms of age and illness).

I also use fandom to deal with intrusive thoughts. It's great with that XD

Thank you. And yeah, while I'm not swearing off getting another dog, it's far too soon and the wound is still very fresh even if it's been some years since she'd passed.

Yeah I'm the same. It'll be two years this year and still... it's too fresh.

being able to recognize when I'm having a bad brain day and managing it without having any kind of breakdown beforehand. - That's the dream right there.

I'm also of the mind that therapy is good and beneficial for everyone, regardless. Say it louder for the people in the back! Therapy is super stigmatized, like it's only for "sick people," so it's insulting or humiliating when its entire purpose is to help and benefit people. (Then there's the whole misconception that therapy has one face and means lying on a couch talking to an old man with a clipboard...)

=^..^=~

I feel like discussions of therapy has gotten significantly better than it once was, thankfully, but sadly there's still a lot of misconceptions surrounding it.

Generally speaking, I think the biggest one is that most think that therapy is the "cure all" for one's issues when that's not it at all. Therapy is something that can help aid you figuring things out about yourself, giving you the tools to unlock these unresolved issues and how to handle and process them in a healthy way. You don't just go once and they magically solve your problems, that's not how it works.

I think people need to be aware of the spectrum of mental illnesses as well. People can have the same base diagnosis and still have totally different needs in terms of meds, accommodations, etc.

Also recognizing cost barriers for sure. Not everyone can afford the treatment they need and it must be demoralizing to have people propose an "easy" fix that is just out of reach.

Yeah, plus there are a lot of illnesses that overlap with each other, so everyone's needs are most certainly different in that way as well.

In addition to that, I also think there's an issue when it comes to taking these illnesses seriously. Just because someone takes multiple different medications doesn't mean they're a drug addict, just because someone says that they have been diagnosed with more than one thing doesn't mean they're faking it for attention. Hell, even in the medical field a lot of doctors won't take patients seriously when they are clearly suffering from "invisible" ailments, mental illness being one of them. It's sad and frustrating when you're suffering in silence when people just won't believe you or take you seriously.

Wow I didn't even thing about people being labelled as drug addicts for needing medication but of course you're right, that would be a thing that would happen. Also if someone is diagnosed with multiple things that's the opposite of faking it. They literally have the paperwork to back it up. It's frustrating that they wouldn't be believed.

I get very frustrated when doctors won't believe something is wrong. I've run up against that in very mild circumstances for myself and even without huge stakes it's annoying to know something is wrong and to have a doctor not do their job to find out what it is or to assume that I'm just wrong about my own symptoms.

I get very frustrated when doctors won't believe something is wrong. I've run up against that in very mild circumstances for myself and even without huge stakes it's annoying to know something is wrong and to have a doctor not do their job to find out what it is or to assume that I'm just wrong about my own symptoms.

Yeah, I've come across this with doctors as well. Not as often as some others probably have, but still it's disheartening and frustrating all the same. Not being believed, being gaslit, or simply just not being listened to at all is horrible in general, but especially when it comes from doctors whose entire profession is supposed to be helping people with their ailments, whatever that may be. There have been plenty of people who haven't been diagnosed, even misdiagnosed, because of this, as well, and it's horrible.

(Also, I would say that my dog was the best thing for my mental health, but she has been gone for some years now and that definitely took a hit on my mental and emotional health, for sure.
Would it be possible for you to adopt a new pet? Maybe something like a hamster or a bunny when a dog/cat is not possible?

It's been thought about and considered, esp when we were looking to adopt/foster another dog, but I think we're not at the stage of taking care of another animal of any kind at the moment.

Okay, I understand.
*hugs*

♥️

I agree with pretty much everything you say.

Also, yes to fandom being good for your mental health! After a very painful break up I fell into the Jackass fandom hard. They may be idiots, but they made me laugh, for the first time after months of crying.

Also, we lost the doggo 3 years ago after almost 15 years and we still mention her daily. </3

Is it a good brain day or a bad brain day?

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